How to make your over-possessive lover chill down a bit

"You lose your personal space. You are afraid to do what you love. And you spend your hours wondering if your lover would approve of this and that"

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Shivam Singh

“Wear that, not that.. oh that’s too short, you are not going to talk to them again, you are not going out in a party without me,” It starts there and often grows into, “the only friend you will ever make is me” or “you were free, how could you do something else other than talking to me,”

Possessiveness tastes sweet in starting. And a little bit of it is a must in a relationship. It makes you feel someone is bothered by your little actions. And it’s a warm feeling. But often this possessiveness turns into ownership. Your lover starts ordering you to do things. They want you to behave in a certain way. And expect utmost devotion. You lose your personal space. You are afraid to do what you love. And you spend your hours wondering if your lover would approve of this and that. It can get really frustrating. One simple solution is to move on. But relationships can’t be categorised into black and white. You know they are doing wrong to you, but there are ten other brighter sides that you just can’t miss. You crave for some space but you are too afraid to share your problems with your partner. You are too afraid to lose them, totally confused what is the best step forward. Here are few ways which might just help you save your relationship from perishing at the hands of your over-possessive partner.

Fill them with gratitude

Get yourself one up in the love game. Arrange a beautiful date or make them a delicious dinner. Do whatever you think would exceed their expectations. Just overwhelm them with your special gestures. Make them feel indebted. And if they love you they would crave to do something special in return. And it’s your job that they know what would make you the happiest. Leave enough hints in your conversations about what you truly desire –catching up more often with friends, partying or just some little time off for yourself. Load them up with enough gratitude and if they have a soul they’ll do anything for you in return.

Share stories

One thing that your partner would never like you to do is get intrigued into other’s relationships. They totally want you to feel that your relationship is the best. And it’s here where you need to roll the dice. Leave comments laden with jealousy on pictures of couples from your circle. And make sure your lover notices. Make up stories about how happy a certain couple is and how easy and rule-free their life is. Make your partner feel that they are lacking somewhere. Just don’t say it. It would be a direct blow to the ego.

It’s payback time

One last resort you can opt for is payback. If they are too hard a nut and just won’t understand how much you are suffering, then it’s time to make them feel the pain too. Be a mirror of their actions. Give them back whatever they do to you. They want to choose your friends? Just choose theirs. They want to decide what you wear, buy them a pair of funny jeans and make them wear it. You know they are busy with something important, give them a call. Suffocate them enough and they’ll just let things loose. No human would ever enjoy a 24x7 watch on their lifestyle. And if all of this doesn’t work, they aren’t moved by your kind gestures and even happily accept your restrictions, well, then there is just one way where your relationship should go. And it’s your job to speed up the process. You chose the wrong person.